Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Ok...so not like that....but I went on a retreat last weekend with my co-workers from FCC (my 2nd job). A first for me. I haven't ever done the whole "learn about each other, team building, guys time away" thing ever. It was interesting....good....different. How's that for vague? My super generous boss (of my real job) let us use his cabin in the woods. A great, relaxing place....even if you prefer the ocean to the trees. Quite, calm, majestic, cold....not to cold, but cold. Very peaceful.
We did some physical activities that had team related principles...then we'd talk about them. They were pretty thought provoking. At first, I was being cynical in my head, but surprisingly, I got in to it. We also did a "solitude experience". Another first in my handbook. This proved to be the toughest challenge. I had to go off, by myself and be alone for 2 hours. I was aloud to bring my guitar, a notepad, pen, and my bible. That's it. I was a little nervous, because I figured I'd fall asleep for sure. I regretted the first spot I chose in a cool 2 minutes. But I didn't think I was aloud to move, so I stayed put for about an hour until the guy leading it, came around and he said "of course you can move". Duh! So, I moved. Better spot, less sun....but now I was getting cold. Anyhow, I sat, I read, I played my guitar, read more, closed my eyes, looked around, prayed. Finally when the 2 hours were up, we all got together and shared our experience. Questions, thoughts, comments, etc... I really felt like I hadn't done it right. I didn't hear some big revelation from God or come away with some monumental concept about my life. I think I failed. Maybe, I just laid the ground work for next time. It's amazing how tough it is to just sit still. Not just talking...but resting your mind. My friend Dave told me that guys have the unique ability to actually think about nothing. True. Very true. But in this case, the hardest part was keep my mind focused. I felt like a chicken with my head cut off....only inside my head.
Things move constantly in our world. Silence is awkward. Pause is avoided. Breaks are scheduled. Why is that? Why do we find comfort in ciaos? Maybe, the movement keeps us from being vulnerable? Maybe it keeps us from really connecting....with friends, family, god...
So try it. Find some time and be still. See what you hear.