Wednesday, October 13, 2010

keep it clean

it had been a great day. i got off early from work and took the whole family to san francisco to meet up with some dear friends for an afternoon of fun and re-connection. we took our big circus tent full of children down to crissy field armed with the the mary poppins carpet bag of outdoor games and boy did they put them to good use. the adults all sat and chatted in the warm afternoon light snacking on fruits and cheese and chocolate. it was truly a magical afternoon.




when the sun went down, we packed up and headed to our favorite restaurant, park chow. boy, do we love this place. we developed our affinity during our 3 month residency with jillie-bean at UCSF. it's warm and friendly. inviting to anyone who dare walk through the curtains out front. oh...and the food is amazing! we ate, we laughed, we danced...ok, we didn't dance. but we had a great time! everyone did. it was the kind of night that no one wanted to end. but as all good things do...


here's where things got interesting. i had all the boys (dads and kids) in my car and sharon had all the girls (moms and kids) in her car. before we left the restaurant i had gotten the lecture...uh, i mean reminder about "driving like someone was following me" as i left the city for oakland to take our friends back to their hotel. so, i drove slow. well, at least as slow as you can drive in san francisco. there is certain prerequisite for "assertive driving" when turning the keys of your ignition within the city limits. that being said, i kept watching my review for my beloved wife and her party while i navigated the great concrete jungle...safely...at night...with two boys making light saber noises as loud as they could in their own virtual backseat battle. as i approached the final intersection before we entered the freeway i realized (too late it turns out) that the light was yellow as i entered the intersection. i immediately looked behind me only to see sharon's car way to far back to make the light.

dang!

we picked up the phone and called. "hey, sorry...uh...yeah, just make sure and take the bay bridge exit on the freeway...ok?....cool....heehee....(nervous)...uh, ok. love you." i'm sure you can get the picture. for the next 10 minutes across the bridge i drove critically slow. i'm talking far right lane, passing cars honking at me, the whole bit, just so i could guarantee sharon catching up with me. no such luck. the next thing i know, we were taking the exit for oakland and i knew...i mean, i knew that sharon wouldn't know to take it. we called again, but it was too late. they were already headed off into dark, scary, "let's grab our gat and kevlar vest and stand on a corner to capture some moms and their kids in a surburbia suv" downtown oakland. the next call and subsequent calls as we located and rescued our lovely wives weren't nearly as cheery. i knew i was in trouble when we found them parked at a gas station and i pulled up next to them. i smiled charmingly and said, "are you guys ready to follow us? (yeah, i said that) the response from the car was "are you ready to drive slower?" uh...yeah. yes! i was ready to drive slower. and i did, all the way back to the hotel.

when we arrived back to the hotel we all smiled and hugged. i profusely apologized to both our wives taking all the blame on myself. all the while reminding them of what a fun evening we had up until the last 25 minutes. :-) any how, the point of this story was that the best thing i could have done in that moment was fall on the sword. don't argue. don't justify. just apologize. here are some words that most men could benefit from when facing similar experiences. "i'm sorry...i know i was wrong". that's it! use them...it will save you in the future. don't drag things out or hold on to your rightness...apologize and keep things clean. your relationship with thank me.

less of me...

10 comments:

Me Ra Koh said...

Wow, this sounds like an intense night of high highs and low lows! :) But the best part is that it sounds like you are all such dear friends that nights like this can happen, and you only come out being better friends then before. Who are these lucky friends of yours? But did the moms really say that? Yikes, they must have been stressed!

love you guys! :)

Jeramy Sossaman said...

absolutely! that's all i'm going to say. absolutely! :-)

Pogo Stick said...

I just don't agree with taking the blame for something that was truly, as I read it, not really anyone's fault. You did your best ,things happened beyond either of your control...it was what it was. Now of course you can say how sorry you are that it happened but to have to to feel as though, just to satisfy your wife OR husband, by taking the blame for something that was out of your control I just don't agree with. I have been married for 25+ years and yes I choose my battles but I won't allow myself or my spouse to take the blame for something out of our control. Some things I believe are just simple no one persons fault.

Pogo The Stick said...

This just kinda hit me too. I have to say I would be none to happy if my significant other posted, for everyone to read, how I reacted to this unfortunate situation. I realize you're trying to help the men folk who may come across your blog, with what you see is the best way to solve the situation. But are you taking a chance that you may upset your lovely wife? Good luck.

Jeramy Sossaman said...

thanks for your input pogo stick. i'm glad you stopped by.

Pogo The Stick said...

I hope you mean it. My intention is meant well and from the heart. It is not at all to be construed as negative toward anyone. I hope you view it as such. Have a blessed day.

Sharon said...

I have so much to say right now...

Umm... Pogo Stick... you ARE only hearing the husbands side of the story. Not to mention that the car he was driving was very much under his control. And he very well should own up to his mistakes and not make excuses. =D

PS His wife has a great sense of humor and is very forgiving! ;-)

Me Ra Koh said...

Sharon, you are the BEST wife! And seriously, your marriage--the two of you--is pretty amazing! Your friend in the car...now that I don't know. :)

Life with Kaishon said...

What a great post. What a great blog. I am visiting via your comment at Jasmine Star's blog today. I always try to comment on a few commenters above me and I am so glad you were there today : ) It sounds like you had a perfect day. And you did the perfect thing when you got to the hotel. You said sorry. That was PERFECT :)

Jeramy Sossaman said...

@life with Kaishon....thanks so much for stopping by. any friend of j* is a friend of mine. :-)