Wednesday, September 23, 2009
waiting to be found
like i've been lost for an eternity in a vast, uncontainable wilderness....screaming out...but i don't think that they can hear me. i can hear them...their voices....their laughter drifting on the air over the valley...as i sit...waiting...wanting. but no one comes for me. but i'm no victim. i've figured out how to survive. i've discovered how to take care of myself...without you. sometimes, i can block out the sounds...pretending, that in my loneliness i am more fulfilled than in my feeble desire for companionship. at least a little more insulated. maybe, they'll find me someday and wonder how i got there....how long i'd been there....maybe they'll wonder if i knew that they were on the other side...that i could hear them the whole time. or maybe, i'll just disappear into dust, the way i began...and no one will know that i was there at all. but the worst reality would be to find out that they knew i was there all along....and still left me there alone. the deep cut from that blade of rejection bleeds more red then the heat on my angry face as they choose, and decide, and discuss and elevate, as i wait to be found.