Thursday, October 23, 2008

look out....the bridge is burning

sometimes, relationships get ruined beyond repair. maybe it started small...maybe it stemmed from a large issue. but sometimes, there just isn't anything that can be done to get things back to how they used to be.

i experienced this today. i have a client at work that very innocently mis-interpreted some information that i sent him. details about a product, that weren't important enough for him to pay attention to on the front end, but in the big picture became a deal breaker for him in the end. after he and i talked and i gently explained how he had all the information from the start...and approved the product that we installed, he became aware that this was a detail that he had missed and now had to deal with. well...like with most of us, that kind of reality doesn't always sit well. at that point, things got ugly. after some colorful language from him, it became clear to me, that this problem was not going to get resolved. i even asked him, "what can i do to make you feel better about this situation?" his response...."nothing"

so what do you do? i understood his point of view. i think he understood mine. but when all was said and done....it became clear that we would never be able to meet back in the middle.

mis-understandings happen. mistakes happen. even offenses happen....but if there isn't a desire or will on both sides to resolve the situation...then the relationship is over. done. finished.

so again....what do you do? at what point do you draw a line in the sand? have you ever been the one that is unwilling to resolve the issue? have you ever been the one who has tried and been shut down? at what point do you say, "enough is enough"? i think we all probably feel justified in our own actions most of the time. is it possible for resolution to happen where both parties feel represented? or does there always have to be a winner...and a loser? lots of questions....what do you think?

3 comments:

Cheryl said...

This is when you pray a lot and know that God and time can put the fire out and rebuild the bridge!

Carrie Hasson said...

hmm, you have me frustrated cuz i don't have an answer!
time, give it time...

vsossaman said...

Once again thorough communication is key!It is our responsibility to do the best that we can do to resolve a situation. There is of course an apology, explaination without justification, place value in the feelings that are held by us in the relationship whether it be work or personal, keep the disagreement about the behavior or situation not the person. Reaffirm the person and then act like it! Stay approachable, turn the other cheek and keep on walking.