Wednesday, December 8, 2010

does my life matter?

do you ever hear something like that and you either completely dismiss it or it totally rocks you to your core?

does my life matter?

i'm 33 years old and i've been to enough funerals to know that not everyone was well liked, well loved, respected...or invested in other people enough to be even considered when they died. and that sad fact always makes me wonder about me...

have i loved?
have i invested?
have i left a legacy to the next generation?
have i spent my life doing and pursuing things that really matter?

i life really just about being born, growing up and learning how to be an adult, going to work, having a family and then dieing...really? or are we here to do more then that?

i was listening to a talk from francis chan on my way to work this morning. francis is a communicator that has risen to the very top of his field. he started and led a very successful organization in an affluent area of southern california for the last 15 years...and he just resigned, sold his house and he and his family (wife and 4 kids) are moving to asia. he doesn't have a new job to go to...he just had a sense that he was supposed to go...and so he went...with a focus and intent to be and help and serve wherever and whatever is needed.

that made me wonder about me. could i sell my house, my car, all my things...pack up sharon and my 5 kids and just go? leave my life, my friends, my whole world? i feel as if i couldn't because i'm bound by my own creation. i feel like my life is spent sustaining the overabundant lifestyle that i created. and then, my next thought is, if my life is spent sustaining what i've that really going to matter once i'm gone? will people show up to my funeral and say, "boy, that jeramy sossaman...he really did live a fantastic life! he lived his days out working to make sure he always had enough. truly an inspiration!"

is that what they'll say?

i'm going to try an unpack what this means for me and my family. it's scary...but it matters. have a great day.

less of me...


Sharon said...

This is a great post... I've been thinking a lot about it over the past few days.

sarah shatkin duggan said...

SO many philosophers have asked this very question. I really believe that if God called you to move away that there would be a path and you guys would follow it. In the meantime, it's the really itty bitty things we do that leave that legacy and make people feel loved. It's that little note to your wife or that "You're so beautiful" to little Jane that makes all the difference in living or dying on Earth. To question this is good; it leads to a better understanding of what is of value and what can be thrown to the wind.