Thursday, February 26, 2009
yanked from the sweet bliss of sleep
so this is how i woke up this morning. mind you i've been a little under the weather so my reaction is heightened...a bit...i'm just saying.
sharon wakes up to feed the baby. on her way to the bathroom she says, 'ewwwwww, what's that???' apparently the dog had vomited on the carpet in the middle of the night. yum! i bury my face in the pillow hoping to hear the dog vomit fairy walking up the stairs with paper towels and windex in hand. no such luck.
after i was done cleaning the dog vomit, i let the dog out of the bedroom...he rushes down stairs. i close the door and turn on the shower...then i start thinking...'i wonder if the dog needs to go out....he did run down the stairs pretty quickly...' i open our bedroom door and ask our oldest son 'indy' to let the dog out. right after that, our oldest daughter 'MR' says....'ewwwwww....paddy pooped in the kitchen....a lot too!'
i walk down stairs (in my underwear...thank the lord there aren't any pictures. brian is a 'bigger man' than i am) to inspect the dog poop in the kitchen. as i'm leaning over the pile o' stench, getting ready to vomit, 'MR' says....'harley is outside!!!'
ok...our cat...well...sharon's cat 'harley' has had a tiny battle with kitty vertigo and the doc says to keep him inside while he is still all wobbly....
so, i tell 'indy' and 'MR' to GRAB THE CAT! they reply...'but it's raining' (whining). it was drizzling. i calmly and lovingly tell them that i don't care if it's hailing...grab the cat! for some force of nature that i'm unaware of, they are unable to successfully venture the 5 feet from the front door and grab the cat SO, i run up stairs (still in my undees) and throw some clothes on....run down stairs, fire billowing from my dragon nostrils and grab the cat. get the dog back in the house. clean up the dog poop in the kitchen...vomit. then i remember...'my shower!'
once the water hit my dragon flames, they went out. i got dressed and headed to work.
is it legal for that many things to happen all at once, first thing in the morning? i think not! i've got no where to go but up!
less of me...(no joke)